


Retirement (Uchiha Mikoto's ballad)

by amako



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asuma is tired, F/M, Gen, Mikoto isn't paid enough for this shit, No Uchiha Massacre, Unresolved Sexual Tension, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amako/pseuds/amako
Summary: Mikoto groans. Asuma hides his face in his hands. No one else reacts because this is normal behaviour for the members of Team 8.





	Retirement (Uchiha Mikoto's ballad)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LindtLuirae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindtLuirae/gifts).



> So I heard bouncyirwin on tumblr was craving some same age au. I don't even ship this, wtf. I just felt like doing something nice, I guess xD

"Yo mama so ugly the ANBU hired her just so they could put a mask on her!"

 

There is a beat of silence, before a screech follows the insult. Mikoto sighs heavily. She has an overwhelming urge to bang her head against the nearest wall. She sends a prayer to the Ancestors and begs them to give her the _strength_...

Sometimes it is _very_ hard to remember they aren't, in fact, twelve-year-olds anymore.

 

"You're an asshole!"

"And you're a bitch!"

 

The long-suffering sigh on her right reminds her of the presence of her third student. Asuma is smoking dedicatedly on his fifth cigarette of the day, and Mikoto would already be on his ass about it if she wasn't craving it just as bad.

 

"Go fuck yourself, Hatake!"

 

The shout is followed by a crash and a cloud of dust raising from the ground... as it always ends with these two.

Sakura stomps out of the dust, rage colouring her features. Her jōnin jacket is torn at the shoulder and her right glove is missing. A second later, it's Kakashi's turn, a small tear in his mask letting it fall on the tip of his nose.

He growls something and reaches for Sakura's wrist. He grips it and drags her towards him, probably to continue the argument. Sakura doesn't hesitate a second and headbutts him so hard his nose breaks on impact.

Mikoto groans. Asuma hides his face in his hands. No one else reacts because this is normal behaviour for the members of Team 8.

 

"Sakura..."

"What?" she snarls, turning around to face Asuma.

"You said you'd make an effort."

 

She makes a frustrated noise and throws her arms in the air. Kakashi is picking himself up from the floor and she begrudgingly offers him a hand, which he promptly ignores. Sakura sends a "see?" look to her other teammate and Mikoto considers retirement with a renewed fervour.

 

"Kakashi-chan, Sakura-chan, please. I can feel the grey hair growing," she sighs.

" _Please_ , like you'll ever grow old."

"Don't deflect, my cute student. Apologize to Sakura for the insult."

 

Sakura makes a triumphant face and Kakashi mumbles something that could, from a kilometre distance, on a stormy night, while rain is pouring, pass for an apology.

 

"Now, Sakura, heal his nose."

 

Now she's the one to look offended, and seriously, an eighteen-year-old should _not_ be able to get away with this face.

Asuma is looking at them, his face as blank as a Black Ops mask. Then, he slowly turns towards Mikoto and leans purposefully close. In a stage whisper, loud enough for both his teammates to hear and start sputtering, he says:

 

"You'll have to forgive their behaviour, they're confused. You see, sensei, it's all this sexual tension..."

 

Mikoto hates her students. All of them. Retirement it is, it seems.

 


End file.
